What are some of the most frequently asked questions by Intended Parents?

September 23 2019
What are some of the most frequently asked questions by Intended Parents?

While surrogacy is becoming more understood as a way of having a family, there are still many questions which intended parents often ask.   

What motivates surrogates?

It’s hard to imagine what sort of woman might be willing to be a surrogate. 

Like the unique women who become surrogates, their motivations are varied and special to their life experiences. Some may have been affected by a family or friend’s infertility, or even had had some infertility concerns themselves. Others may have LGBT+ family or friends and feel the need to help those who would not naturally ever conceive. Some absolutely love being pregnant and their pregnancies but know that their family is complete. Being able to become a surrogate gives them the ability to experience another pregnancy, and do something incredible for another family and enable the joy and love of parenthood. 

Are surrogate’s financially motivated?

The short answer to this is no.

At no point should any surrogate be out of pocket financially for helping create a family in this way, but this is not an overwhelming motivator for surrogates. Of course, there is a financial element that needs unravelling and clarifying and ensuring that a surrogate and her family are financially reimbursed is critical. Within this, there may well be elements of acknowledgement and opportunities for the family to regroup and restore their lives after the surrogacy. The law does not help everyone to honestly reflect that but the reality is that there a range of expenses and financial decisions that need to be made and the team at Brilliant Beginnings will help everyone understand those ranges and how they piece together with everyone’s circumstances and budgets.  

Can the surrogate keep the baby?

No again. A surrogate goes into surrogacy knowing that she is carrying a baby of the intended parents and this is not her own, regardless of the genetic connection.  

The first question many prospective surrogates have of us “What happens if the intended parents leave me with the baby?“. As they are on the birth certificate until the parental order is granted, then a bond of trust and honestly between the surrogate and her intended parents is critical to smooth that post birth period. At Brilliant Beginnings, we match one to one to ensure that this bond forms the bedrock of all our teams and carries everyone through from first meet up to delivery to parental order.

Why do I need a surrogacy agreement?  

While a surrogacy agreement between intended parents and surrogates is not legally enforceable, ensuring everyone understands the process is important. Having an agreement that is articulated and discussed with clear expectations avoids assumption and guess work. It helps clarify thoughts and meaning and gives framework to reflect back on should something unexpected occur.   

In order to inform this, it is often helpful to get specialist legal surrogacy advice. This could take the form of general advice to understand how the law works here in the UK or works in tandem with another destination.  It could take the form of understanding the implications of some of the decisions that might need to be taken and if they will impact the parental order application or any other legality. 

If everyone is clear on what is legal and what isn’t, what the courts will expect to see, important points around expenses, and the Parental Order process, it gives clarity and ensures transparency throughout. Writing everyone’s intentions, expectations and hopes down within an agreement, ensures that nothing is left to ‘assumption’. Clarity, openness and transparency are important from the start.

How long will it take to find a surrogate?

In the UK there are a shortage of surrogates which makes it difficult to give definitive time scales for a match. 

We match some intended parents within a few months but others take much longer. Our ‘average’ match times vary between 9 months and two years but it is important to not hold onto this as each team is different.  It’s about finding the right ‘fit’.

What are Brilliant Beginnings’ fees?

Our full fees are available here but we're always happy to answer any questions you might have. We have a variety of fees depending on your circumstances and needs, many which include a legal review so you have the opportunity to ensure that your surrogacy journey is both practical and legally viable. 

To find out more about BB, how we work, our team or ask any questions, contact us at hello@brilliantbegininngs.co.uk or call us on 020 7050 6875. 

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